9/8/2009 - Get with the Program Perspectives on Reception     [back]

The who, what, why, and when of reception timing...guaranteed to surprise you. I recently had an incident with a venue’s staff over whose reception schedule took priority, theirs or mine. The “captain” said he had a signed contract, I told him I did, too. I asked him who made their schedule, heanswered the banquet manager! And where was the banquet manager? The captain responded: “Oh, the banquet manager never goes to the weddings.” I wondered: Who really has the ultimate responsibility for making a wedding reception schedule? It was off to a bookstore to do some research. I found lots of books on weddings, including ones with funny titles like: Chicken Soup for the Bride’s Soul, The Anti-Bride Wedding Planner and of course Wedding Planning for Dummies, but not one of them had any substantive information about reception scheduling. Survey Says… After interviewing dozens of mobile DJs, wedding planners, caterers, and venue managers, it became obvious to me that all of us are not on the same page! In general, DJs were in agreement on scheduling, while the rest of the wedding professionals had a variety of views. For instance: 1. Responsible Parties. Who should be responsible for setting the schedule? DJs were evenly split between the wedding planner (if there is one) and the DJ. Not surprisingly, non-DJ vendors overwhelmingly choose the wedding planner. The banquet manager rated a distant third. 2. Spaced Out. On the question of whether to space out the activities during the reception, a majority of DJs preferred to space the activities throughout the event. Reasons given include: “It provides entertainment throughout the evening; it gives the guests something to look forward to; it offers emotional peaks and valleys; each activity has entertainment value and keeps guests longer.” On the other hand, and this is a major disagreement, most vendors preferred PERFORMANCE Get with the Program Perspectives on Reception Scheduling doing activities one right after another. Reasons given: “It is most efficient; spacing activities out seems to drag on…guests get bored.” And several said, “Get on with the dancing!” 3. First Things First. When to do the First Dance? Nearly everyone was in agreement: right after the Grand Entrance. Reasons given: “Start things off with a bang; you have everyone’s complete attention; it’s the WOW factor!” 4. Parental Guidance. When asked what the best time was to do the Parent’s Dance, most DJs said right after the First Dance. Other wedding vendors were split between after the first dance and after dinner. 5. Don’t Burn the Toast. No matter how you slice it, everyone was in agreement: limit the Toast. Answers given: “Alcohol and microphones don’t mix; avoid inappropriate or rambling toasts; with an open mic, things can and very often do get ugly; don’t give guests an opportunity to ruin the reception; once guests start drinking, it’s hard to regain control.” 6. Toasty Timing. When’s the best time to do the Toast? DJs were evenly split between doing it before or after the meal. Answers given: “Before dinner to avoid wait staff bussing tables; after dinner to let the guests settle down; when the meal has started, guests can eat during the Toasts.” Vendors’ answers were spread all over without any general agreement: “During the Grand Entrance; during dinner; after First Dance; after the salads are served; just before or after the Cake is cut.” 7. Toss Up. Almost everyone sided with tradition, doing the Garter Removal and Toss before the Bouquet Toss. However, several vendors said they do the Garter first with the Bouquet Toss at the end of the event as the couple leave. Even Martha Stewart agrees: “The Bouquet Toss should take p